What's the thing you connect to the most when you attend a wedding? Is it the legal words? The celebrant's view of marriage and love? The setting? The music?
For me, the ultimate connection factor is the personal stuff. The story that connects the concept of marriage with the couple standing before you. This is what evokes tears, laughter, memories and authenticity.
When officiating a wedding, I prefer not to talk too much about marriage and love from my perspective. Traditionally, wedding ceremonies were religious, so talk was about the bible and took a Godly view of love and commitment. In Civil ceremonies, that no longer applies, so I don't feel the need to replace that aspect of the ceremony with another, non-religoious version. Instead, I prefer to gather the love stories from the couple.
The way I do that is really special for me, and I can only imagine how special it must be for them. It's not often these days, that we write down, actually put into words, the way we feel about someone and why we want to spend our lives with them. Life powers along at epic paces these days and the task I ask of couples is a unique opportunity to sit and reflect. I ask each individual to send me their story, separately from one another. It's a wonderful experiment, because more often than not, I am sent two beautiful versions of what has bought that couple to the decision to marry. Each time, I read both interpretations and pluck from them the details that cross over, the aspect that they both, obviously, deem significant enough to send to me. To me, these are the pivotal points that epitomise their story. And as a result, this is the part of the ceremony that the guests love the most, as they are already invested in this love story. They are the close family and chosen friends that have been asked to share in the commitment of a wedding, because they are all already a part of the story.
Years ago, work emails meant something very different. Now, when my phone dings with an email, it generally pulls a gentle tear to my eye as I read the story written by a soon to be husband or wife, explaining how and why they love the other. What a privilege that has become.
I married a couple recently who sat together the night before their wedding day and read each other's versions of their story. What a beautiful way to connect in together.
So that's why your story is important and matters in your wedding. Anyone can read a script, only you can express the deep authenticity of your love for one another, and I love to help you write it and pull it altogether.
xxx